Saturday, March 22, 2008

Please stand by...

There is a dream in my life that I have been trying to ignore, but it keeps creeping, rather unwelcomed, back into my consciousness. As a supposedly mature businessperson going back to school to finish an MBA, it may seem like a crazy midlife folly sort of thing.

But a serious dream for one's life doesn't let go. I have avoided this particular dream for many years, thinking that I am not good enough, smart enough, etc. to manifest it. But one of the things that my experiences of the last couple of years have taught me is that I need to follow what I feel is my path in life, and let go of the outcome.

People may resent me, try to take advantage of me, attempt to hurt me, try to cause me to fail in my endeavors. This is an unfortunate fact of life. But I cannot make decisions based on fear of what people may think of me or do to me. I need to follow my spiritual guidance to wherever it takes me. Fear will only make me shrink from what my true dream is, and make all kinds of excuses as to why I cannot manifest that dream...

Anyone who is reading this and is a praying person, please pray that I am able to manifest the dream in my heart, that I believe is inspired by Creator. If you are not a praying person, please send whatever positive thoughts you can to me, in support of my dream.

Namaste, Willow

Friday, March 21, 2008

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..."

With sincere apologies to Robert Plant...

Some of my friends know of my struggle to obtain tickets for the upcoming Robert Plant/Alison Krauss concert this summer. The friends who have known me for many years are probably very familiar with my sort of lifelong admiration of Robert Plant. When I was a teenager, and very much into Robert and Led Zeppelin, I acquired a small Queensland Umbrella Plant that I named, of course, Robert. Due to many circumstances, I have never seen Robert Plant in concert.

So when he and Alison Krauss released a CD together, I bought it without ever hearing any of the songs on it, and I still love it (I also really like Alison Krauss, but I don't have the history with her and her music that I have with Robert Plant...probably because she most likely wasn't even born when I was so crazy about Robert Plant--but I digress). I also signed up for email updates of their activities and, of course, announcements of their upcoming tour.

So the day finally arrived: I had a chance to buy tickets for the concert online before they went on sale. I was so excited, I emailed just about everyone I know in the area, and got a few folks together for the concert. When the day that I could order tickets came, I came home from work, raced to my computer, logged in, and found...no tickets. I logged on again and again but was never able to get tickets.

I went through a period of reliving teenage angst, and then I got a second email from the website: for more money, I could get premium tickets for the concert, plus one of a kind souvenirs. I figured, what's $300.00 for the chance of a lifetime??? I tried to order one ticket (none of my friends were this devoted to seeing the concert): Well, guess what--no tickets available.

Anyway, last night I must have fallen asleep wondering if it was worth it to quit my job and apply for a position at the concert venue, because I had the following Really Bizarre Dream:

Robert and Alison were on their very successful tour, and Robert and his manager (female) were staying with me. Robert and his manager had some sort of romantic connection, and I broke them up. I won't bore the reader with all the details as I suspect that no one but my bestest friends, and anyone who is similarly devoted to Robert Plant is still awake reading this. But at one point, my "good angel" said to me that I should stop my involvement with Robert because I was breaking his manager's heart, and my "bad angel" said basically, "all's fair in love and war, and besides, other women have done it to you." You can guess the decision I made in my dream. After all, I have a 20-something year old plant named after him.

A side note: Alison Krauss was staying in another hotel, because she couldn't stand the noise of Robert's incessant partying.

But here is the weird part: At some point in my dream, Robert and his manager were arguing over a bra that I thought was hers. But Robert admitted that the bra was his...and he confessed to certain "behaviors," such as wearing women's underthings.

So now my dream about Robert Plant is ruined, and somehow Monty Python invaded my unconscious: I have the song "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay," going through my head. I don't remember much of the lyrics, but the melody is relentlessly stuck in my mind.

And I still don't have tickets to the concert!!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Out of Hibernation

My Nordic ancestors took over this winter, and I spent a couple of months doing not much of anything other than going to work and sleeping. I did, however, manage to paint my living room and hallway, and only need to paint my dining room to get rid of that ugly beige color that I've been living with since I moved in here.

Some insane part of me decided to go back to school. Actually I don't think it was really insane, just practical. Once I got over all of the distressing things that happened at work over the last couple of years, I realized that I don't have to be the kind of incompetent manager that I have seen so often.

So I will be taking an accounting course starting March 31...and participating in National Poetry Writing Month starting April 1. Should be interesting...

Not much else to say here. I'm still pretty much in the process of "waking up" to springtime. Imagine a bear stumbling out of her cave, looking around, and wondering what to eat for breakfast after a two-month hibernation.

Anyway, how many higher level brain functions did I need to use yesterday at my job? None. While I am certainly grateful to have a job in this economy, I really would like a position that challenges me so that I don't have to spend 8 hours on autopilot and watching the clock to see how long before I can get OUT of there.

Is there a happy medium for me between "totally bored" and "totally stressed" in the medical field? I'm beginning to wonder. Anyway, that's about it. When I'm more awake, I should have more interesting things to say.