Stupid Homeowner Tricks

Over the weekend, I had a series of homeowner (and cat) related mishaps. Since I found the corroded hole in the drainpipe running from the kitchen sink, I have not been using the sink. However, yesterday, I awakened early, all ready to do my yoga routine, but decided that I would feed the cats first—otherwise they would just pester me while I tried to do Sun Salutations. So I went down into the basement with their food, and found the same huge puddle of water that I’d had when I originally discovered the leaky pipe. So I went on a hunt for the source of the water, and could not find where it was coming from, other than it was around the part of the drainpipe that went into my basement floor. I took pictures of the whole mess, hoping that it might give the plumber some clue as to what had happened this time. But even after talking to Dad and emailing him the pictures, neither he nor I had any clue as to where this latest flood had come from. Needless to say, I skipped my yoga routine and went straight for coffee and breakfast. I did, however, get a nice picture of my cat Sam trying to “help” me with the mess.

So later that day, I went out grocery shopping. When I returned, it was pouring buckets. Now, Sam, the more loving but much more obnoxious of my two cats, has a habit of trying to sneak outside when I am coming in. I figured that since he hated being rained on, he wouldn’t try anything. Right. I opened the door and out he went, and immediately panicked because it was raining so hard. I chased him up to my front porch and grabbed him as he continued to struggle and meow and try to get out of my arms. I quickly deposited him in my laundry room and shut the door. Somehow in this frantic kitty-corraling exercise, I managed to trip over my vaccum in such a way that it came down on my big toe. I limped out to get the rest of the groceries, and managed to finish without further injury. But oh, the night was young.

I wanted to wash my floors, and decided that night was a good time to do it. So I got out bucket, mop, etc. and got to work. When I got to the landing that goes down into my basement, a little voice in my head said, “Wait until the rest of the floor dries before you do this part. Pergo is extremely slippery when it is wet!” Well, the other voice in my head said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a small area, you can finish in no time.” So I stepped down to the landing with the mop and bucket and immediately slipped, my feet went up in the air, and I landed on the landing, so to speak, full of soapy water and sporting a huge bruise on my arm, a bump on my head, and a wrenched back. It was weird, it was like this story I’d heard as a kid about a kid who was told not to put beans up his nose and promptly went out and—you guessed it—put beans up his nose. As I cleaned up the spilled water, I couldn’t help but think of the television show “Tool Time” and how the star of the show Tim Taylor was constantly getting himself injured while doing home improvement projects.

But at least I haven’t tried to rewire anything in the house….yet. And no, I usually don't have voices in my head talking to me.